i’m sorry i ended up feeling something for you i know
you were counting on me
to be the concrete girl you’d seen in your dreams,
only smeared lipstick never any strings attached,
just a fuck toy you could try out and
return when things started going bad
i’m sorry i sometimes can’t stand on my own two feet i’m
sorry i like the way that fire tastes i’m sorry
that i don’t chase passion, i drink it straight
so when i met you, the volcano,
i watched my walls
i’m sorry you were too much for me and the way you smile
makes me so fucking happy i’m sorry that i told you i was
unbreakable i guess you called my bluff i’m sorry
i messed everything
Sometimes people don’t understand the promises they’re making when they make them.
It is better to remain silent at the risk of being thought a fool, than to talk and remove all doubt of it.
my social studies teacher once told us “human beings are the most selfish of all. even when someone dies, you shed tears only because they are no more around to provide you with whatever they had been for so long”
and it has been 3 years since she said this and this is still what i think about at night
I’m so detached and distant and cold at times, but I swear if you spark my interest, I can become so clingy and you’ll become so important to me and I will put so much of my time and effort towards you.
My respect level for T-Pain is out the roof right now.
UR STILL FUGLY
In honor of Robin Williams and all the depressed people in the world.
Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255(via thephilyptian)
Depression is not beautiful poetry and sympathy from loved ones and a beautiful girl crying in the middle of the night while her boyfriend holds her and whispers “I love you” over and over again.
Depression is not dead flowers and lana del rey music and dark eyeliner and lipstick smearing your face as you cry in a dirty bathtub smeared with your own blood.
Depression is a foul taste in your mouth and smell in your room because you don’t care enough to take a shower or brush your teeth.
Depression is longing for the days you cry because feeling something is better than feeling nothing and being sad is better than the blunt anxiety that is a constant in the back of your mind.
Depression is watching your friends slip away because you don’t care enough to call them or see them and in turn feeling lonely and ignored because it feels like they don’t care enough to call you or see you.
Depression is watching your grades plunge because how can you care about them when you don’t even care if you live or die?
Depression is having your teachers and your parents call you lazy and unmotivated and a deadbeat because of these grades and because your illness is so blind to them you have trouble convincing even yourself that it exists.
Depression is your back aching from staying in bed for hours a day, hoping you can live out your life in bed until you don’t have to live anymore.
Depression is staying up until five a.m. watching tv because if you turn everything off you will be alone with your thoughts and there is nothing on earth worse than that.
Depression is groaning in disappointment and anxiety when you wake up the next morning.
Depression is praying yet again that night that you don’t wake up.
Depression is not romantic. It is not beautiful. It is disgusting, empty, ugly. It is a pain so deep and long lasting you forget how you ever were without it.
This is the timeline expressions of my day to day life decisions
To put it simply - you have disoriented me.
Falling in love with you was like being thrown into an ocean at night.
It kisses my skin and it engulfs me, and I’m so light it feels like I’m flying, but I’m left with nothing that I need.
I don’t know which way will give me the air I need and which way will send me down further into the abyss.
Everything is chaotic
Everything is soothing.